Category Archives: Written by Hazel

So much to spend, so little time….

Pats, sweetheart, I don’t know what make you think the blog is “Hazel-proofed”. The only reason I haven’t stopped in here for a few days is that I’ve been so busy getting my hair done, checking out Carnival costumes for next year, and looking at upholstery fabric swatches. A minister’s life is full of responsibilities. I don’t know where you find the time to be online so much all of a sudden. But that’s always your story, eh, one craze after another. Vaps! you dream about a tall building, so for months is only skyscraper this and skyscraper that. Vaps! you dream about a smokestack, so the whole country must get involved in smelter and anti-smelter and Tantie smelter, and look all the trouble that cause. So now is the internet. Have mercy. Good thing all this happen after the budget done read, else you would have put in some kind of blog tax or something. Continue reading

1 Comment

Filed under Written by Hazel

It shoulda been a $100,000 breakfuss

Darling, I ent no internet newbie, and too besides I learn fast (I am the minister of what–? oho). I could access any damn blog of yours anytime I want, not to mention your Amazon, PayPal and Flickr accounts, assuming you ever figure out what those are. So you could just forget about trying to keep me out of this blog. Till death do us part, remember?

Furthermore: you don’t realise the blimp didn’t just come with infra-red goggles, but also a special telescope that registers the heat signatures of–look, nevermind, you wouldn’t understand, but suffice it to say I spotted Miss S behind the tree last night, and if I tell you some of the other things I have spotted our honourable Cabinet colleagues doing around town you would have to fall on your knees and pray. Continue reading

2 Comments

Filed under Written by Hazel

Looking for cut-tail

Doo-doo, you really thought you could keep this blog secret from me? Who controls the mouse in this family? I’m surprised you could even turn on the computer by yourself.

By the way, I saw you and “Chrissy” perfectly clearly from the TV room window using those special infra-red goggles that came with the last blimp. And you know what else came with the blimp? A tiny little microphone that could pin into your lapel, so small you wouldn’t know it was there. And it broadcasts straight into the headset in my command centre–er, I mean, walk-in closet. So you better watch yourself with that Madame Minister.

It’s a good thing this blog is secure and the general populace of sweet T&T can’t read it. Imagine if they found out the father of the nation, the man who supposed to lead them down the road to Vision 2020 (or whatever the latest crap catch-phrase is), didn’t know till last night what a blog is?

Now if you’ll excuse me I have a gmail chat date–er, appointment–with JJ–um, the Hon. Attorney General.

2 Comments

Filed under Written by Hazel